Saturday, February 12, 2011

Saturday Weirdness, with a hint of sarcasm

HI! it's me, the owner of your favorite blog, or only blog, or maybe you dont care at all your just reading to satisfy my over zealous need for attention. What ever your reason it doesn't matter. I haven't posted every day, been to busy, life's complicated. I do have a life outside of the internet. However most of you probably dont believe that statement -.- but it is true.
anyway i'm thinking of posting three times a week now, Mondays defiantly. Everyone needs something fun on a Monday and its where im at my most random, and possibly most sarcastic. Other days would probably include Wednesday and Friday, maybe Saturday. I love you all and I hope you love me *Shrieks and begs for attention.*
SO interesting things that have been consuming my mind? Fun ideas that you can try at home? Cosmic answers that have arrived at my door step? (what is it with me and cosmic situation?) anyway yes yes and no, but still trying.
First off YOUTUBE! yeah i know, im a little late on this band wagon, but eh what can you do. So i have finally discovered some of the best things on youtube. and while most of you are like "We are on it all the time, or thats so last year" SHUTUP! this is my moment to talk... or write. First things first, Philip defranko, News and entertainment blog, i watch every episode and he has kept me up to date on not only whats in the news but of new models and fun gadgets. And he is just as sarcastic as me, we are so fun loving i can hardly stand being ME! but i do it anyway. i mean lets face it could anyone else handle two over zealous attention whores named Jace? i didnt think so.
second thing on youtube is a little weird. found her recently in a music video about Star Trek, now tell me what do you get when you take a scifi fanatic fan base, take a really cute teenage girl, and write a song about love in the stars? about a million views and a new fan club. but its not bad, its actually funny to see how much this girl knows about star trek and how much she really is a nerd over it. So all you nerd and geeks of Star Trek, there is still hope for you, you can still get a geeky girl that look like a goddess, just loose a few pounds and the glasses. HEY i'm here to help ok dont get so upset! anyway other things she does is sing in JAPANESE! i'm sold, this girl is amazing. Maybe ill meet her when im in CALI, maybe not just a thought. If you want to check out here stuff BAM! MEEKAKITTY thats her screen name and where everything is posted. And while your there look up the song DONT UPLUG ME. great computer humor. which is actually done by a band called "All caps" so check out what you want.
What else? IT IS SATURDAY! and no one has talked to me at all today, well OK so my true friends have, so if you didnt text me SHAME ON YOU! (Can you tell i'm a little hyper) its a little crazy, i was told i was being weird, which is true, and it is weird. as weird as if Parris Hiltion ever became a psychologist... LORD SAFE US ALL! and he shall, unless your a apple user than im sorry, satan made that... you just go to hell.. JK JK i kidd the retards, but seriously, Satan can never make anything right. God created the bible, Satan says "I can do that too" and he creates the Qur'an. Just not the same *shakes head in shame* just not the same. OK away from the horribly unfunny jokes and bad humor, unless you find that funny than shame on you too, but no seriously it was funny laugh. LAUGH!
In other news Valentines day is coming up, and i might post on Monday, but if i don't then this will be my V-day post. You never know i might be busy, with a girl, on a date.... *shakes head* no in wont, BUT! if i do then yeah i wont be posting. so V-day, and all you guys are going WHAT DO I GET HER!?!? and thats why you come to me. Okay lets be honest if you are coming to me for valentines day ideas then you buddy have hit your all time low, I've been single for three years, has it been three years? oh my gosh it has.... *cries in a corner* but if you do seek advice from me on this matter, dont get her a card! nor chocolates. that stuff is so overrated and dull. roses however are always a must, girls love flowers, and leafs, but that's another story. What you should do is do something special. something WOW, or SURPRISING! see girls love it when you show them you care, and what better way to show you care then to put some effort into Valentines day. Take her out to eat at a nice restaurant. then take a walk in the moonlight through some park, after shes all tired from the talking and kissing and walking. Sit her down on a bench and give her a nice massage. After all this then pull out what ever gift you bought and give it to her. Not only did you make her day with all that came before but you also gave her a memento to remember the night by. and it doesnt have to be something fancy just a little something to help her remember you love her, because lets face it just because we say it EVERYDAY does not mean it counts as much as a gift on V-day.
Thats all i have for you today, i didnt get around to talking about my book but i will sometime in the short future, sorry. However got anything else you want me to add to that list put it in the comment box and ill see what i can do. Here however is an assignment, Get one friend to read and follow me on my blog. "Jace what will this accomplish for me?" you ask. Well it will fuel my over growing demand for attention and make you feel like a real friend *cheesy yet awesome smile*

Thursday, February 10, 2011

NO BARBIES! (Willow Wisps Chorus)

Hello friends, what do you think of my new format? Let me know what you think. If you have any ideas on templates or ways to make this place look more friendly and or awesome let me know. i'm always taking suggestions and ideas. Which brings me to another question. If you guys have a topic or idea you want me to write about leave it in the comment section below, I always enjoy writing about what subjects people want to read, and tearing it apart and making fun of it on some occasions. I do have to put a warning, if you ask me to write about barbie or who i think will win "The next top model" you wont get a serious blog, you will get something like this:
Barbies, are in nature evil and satanic creatures made of plastic. I would never let my kids play with them, not because dolls terrify me to death (and they do), but because their head spins 360 degrees without losing their smile, their bodies are so fake and perfect that the only real human you can see with such a figure is in Hollywood full of more plastic than it takes to make hundreds of barbies, ah yes Hollywood the only place in America that has more silicon then silicon Vally. But seeing as both of them are in Californian I'm beginning to wonder if the rest of the world has enough silicon or that they just stole it all.
so there no barbies. Anyway please give your opinions and your ideas. another thing i ask is that when you see a poll (and there will be many of them) please vote, I want to make them fun and i want to see everyone response and put them in my blog. so the more you participate the more i can make fun or talk about you :). Love you all.
So a few of you asked me to post this up there, i actually know it by heart now. One of those things I just wrote and then never forgot:

When the night grows long
and the willow wisps song
spills out among the skies.
You will find me in my home
among the trees and woodland comb
sitting on the grass grown stumps.
Take to heart the sight you see
and remember it forever be
the scene which the willows sing.
And take your seat among the hills
all the children who seek the thrills
of the willow wisp chorus.

And there you go, hope you enjoy it. I did and it helped a lot. Ever get to that point where you just cant go on, and feel as if there is no place that you can rest. I find quoting this poem helps.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Seemingly Obvious Troll

WHAT!?!?! No seriously WHAT!?!?!?
yeah its annoying to me too. and in all my years it just gets worse, i used to hope when i woke up one day all the phrases like "You know what i'm saying", and "Seriously?" "Really?" "You know what i mean?" and all that other stuff would disappear. But each morning as i wake someone says one of those stupid phrases. (Random thought of the day i guess)
what i really want to talk about is the super bowl, and i know what your thinking. "Alright! a football fan who is going to talk about what matters!" or "Not another critique of a game played yesterday, thats what everyone is talking about." Well NO! its not that i dont like football i do, but the game is not what i want to talk about, who cares who won and who lost, the title only stands for a few months and then everyone is back at it trying to kill each other to get yet another trophy. What i really want to talk about are the commercials, because lets face it EVERYBODY LOVES COMMERCIALS! well not everybody, but they are funny, and while this year they weren't the greatest I laughed at a few. Three to be exact.

This one is one of my favorites! nothing beats this kids reactions, even without seeing his face he does a great job acting and showing his frustration and surprise. When i have a kid i want him to be just like this!!!! that dog is like what is going on?!? and i love the father, hes just like eh... ill let him have some fun. i died laughing.

another one was this:

and i know what your thinking, what a cruel person! to do that to a dog! its OK the dog gets him back. there really isnt anything to say about this video its just funny and totally a win.

i know what your going to say "YOUR RACIST!" no i'm not, i just have a thing about kids standing up and showing who's boss. This video is hilarious. and made me smile. It was actually aired about two years ago on super bowl and was so funny they had to bring it back. and i commend them, not for bring it back, but creating a commercial so funny people actually wanted it back. you cant say that about many commercials.
anyway that's my spill on the super bowl. Wait what? You actually wanted me to talk about the game? alright alright alright fine i will.

This is a short video of nick collins making a touch down after an interception. This is why the Steelers lost. and im going to get a lot of you saying "WROTHSBURGER TIPPED THE PASS!" yeah well how many interceptions were thrown? HUH? yeah OK i thought so, point and case.
im not really a football fan so I digress.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Cloth's of the Sinner

Tonight you will not find comedy, you will not laugh. Tonight is a night of thought, of wonder. To sit back and ponder the many roads of life, and which ones you walk.
Out on my balcony i was sitting in my chair as i always do. Taking the last drag from my cig, i began to think. (which usually happens when i sit outside) The moon covered somewhat by the transparent clouds, and while the street lights illuminated the sky a few stars could be seen. What you are about to read are my thoughts:

My faults i carry deep within

the burden of my darkest sins
but made of denim, and cotton weave

i shield myself just like a thief

I walk among the city streets

clothed within the fashion sheaths

so that the world may never know

my darkest days and heart of coal.

as a child i once said to the cotton tree

i will never know the shame to be covered in thee

but now grown and lived a life of sin

the cotton tree hides me from within

Do we all wear our sins each day

within the cloths we all display?

is this denim nothing more

than a stocking for my sins to grow?

and is cotton the best defense

to hide the sinning sequence

that lives throughout are daily lives?

can i rid myself of my caged attraction

and live a life of a sinless fashion

or must i always display my sins each day

to the world by my choice of clay

till the day the lord can say

your sins are gone take off the ragged cloths

and come with me to a world without your shame

or the need to cover that which i have made


to wear the cloth of sin

but cloth myself within

the truth and light of Gods great life

and live eternally with him.

I wrote a rough draft book titled "Peters Hand" which was about a girl on the cliff of suicide searching for hope. Peter who was a mysterious friend helps her escape from her life into a world she doesn't understand. While she goes through trials and pain within this same world, and at first she comes to hate Peter, realizes that everything she has gone through is by her own making. One big part in the book is that its constantly raining if she isn't holding Peter's hand. through out the book she is always changing cloths and letting the old ones dry out, each set of cloths only last a little while in the rain and begin to make her sick from the cold and wetness. A meaningful metaphor symbolizing the committing and forgiving of sin.
When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden, they immediately realized they were naked and were ashamed of this fact. God made them cloths to cover their bodies. As humans we are ashamed of a lot of things: Our past mistakes, our lies, even our bodies. cloths do a great job of covering it all up. Think about this for a second, without clothing we couldn't hide a thing. Bruises would be shown, scars, marks, everything about the body. No cutter could cover up self inflicted marks, no wife could cover a bruise given to her by her abusive husband, and no identifying mark would be hidden from anyone's eyes. So is true with sin, we try our hardest to cover it all up with what we wear and more importantly how we act, but even though we cloth and hide ourselves from others, God can still see everything. He does see everything, which is scary, but also reassuring. Even after every sin you commit, God still loves you, still wants you with him, and still paid the ultimate price for you which is still yours to freely take. clothed or not, God knows every mark on your body, on your heart, and on your soul.
These are just a few of my thoughts, but i would like to leave you with a prayer.

Dear lord, my creator and God in heaven.
this world is Yours as you made it, and so is Yours to take away
but in the time that i have been given
i give it all back to You
for You are my God, and salvation.
I ask that You give the strength needed to carry out not only Your daily works
but that all my friends and those reading this will also be given strength
that You bless us with Your wisdom when we are weak
and grant us peace when we are weary
and let Your light show the way when we are blind
You are my God, You are life
and without You my life is none
In your holy name, amen.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Internetz, we all has it

It is Friday at one in the morning....
Why write this late? maybe because i have a strong connection to the moon, or maybe its because at night everything lines up and my brain connects with the universe and tells me wonderful life changing things. Or maybe because i can't sleep and i'm bored. (im going with the first two options.) anyway not what i am wanting to say, its just a side note. something i do a lot, and will do a l----hey look a quarter! anyway?
OH YES. GOD SAVE US ALL FROM STUPID PEOPLE! and when i say stupid people i don't mean people that dress up in tutus at walmart (even though they are eighty five years old) or the people who wear their pants around their ankles, or even the grown men with no teeth spitting tobacco drinking beer and doing death defying tricks off their roof.... no no what stupid people im talking about is the rich, the people with pull, and oh yes GOVERNMENT. (i think there was a joke there, im not sure) let me speak for a moment, even though no one cares. I dont claim to know much about politics, nor do i care to know about them, but with everything that's going on in this world i have to stop for a moment and go WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! did that really just happen?
since january twenty fifth, Egypt has been protesting their government and their president. It has gotten so bad that hundreds of thousands of people have been marching in the streets. Why haven't you heard of this? maybe you just don't care, maybe its that you don't watch T.V. BUT! it could be to the fact that Egypt TURNED OFF THE INTERNET! still doesnt give you an excuse but i will work with you. What has been happening is that the Egyptian people have been protesting against the president. He at one point fled the country and then once that did not work fired or laid off the entire government staff. He apparently thinks the people are mad at the political people he put in office, not him. But he has agreed not to run for office again which is another seven months from now. The Egyptians didn't seem to like this and so they are still marching. so if anyone wants to be supportive take to the streets and "walk like an Egyptian." (if you didnt get that joke you my friend missed the 80's)
In other political news Canada has limited bandwidth to 75 gigs a month. After exceeding the limit they have begun to charge five dollars a gig! now for all you non geeks out there you are probably going "Ummm so?" NO! this is very important! 75 gigs a month? i go through that in a week if not more, way more! this isnt per person but per router! which means if you have more than two computers in a house you would end up using over 75 in a week. Now tell me if Canada can do this, and i will admit Canada is a little messed up, what is stopping our Government from doing the same? whats worse? Our Government is talking about putting an "on off" switch to our countries internet! what is their reasoning? "Cyber terrorism" COME ON OBAMA! you really going to think im going to believe that? Its because they are afraid of the same thing in Egypt, if we put one toe out of line all they have to do is shut down the internet. now for all you facebook nuts and youtube cravers this would destory you. but to geeks around the country, it would destroy their very existence, their way of life, and it would cut all contact with most of the nation. we would be lost in a stupor of confusion! how to remedy this? We all buy carrier pidgins! you tell me "Ah.. Jace? we do have cell phones..." and i would agree.... but iv always wanted a pidgin to send letters with and this is a great situation to bring them back.
On a completely different and less political note this is the third snow day. and when i say snow day i mean their is snow on the ground, not that im off work. Because lets face it i'm rarely off work. and while it was supposed to be melting their shall be more snow. yes i said it more snow! it comes in tomorrow, and while its supposed to be light flurries and such, it is also supposed to hit monday... and tuesday... and possibly wednesday. Tell me did Oklahoma open a portal some where? as much as we believe this place is connected to Hell at least their its warm, here we have tapped into a unbelievable cash cow of snow... now if only i can make my car run on this stuff. But i will be at work tomorrow and saturday, and monday, and tuesday. so the only silver lining i can find in this is i'm getting paid, and i need money. So i will smile, grin and bare it.
i will leave everyone with this thought: if you are going to attempt my boiling water in the air stunt i talked about last post, make sure of two things; one! that its boiling, warm water does nothing but cause a mess; and TWO! THROW THE WATER AWAY FROM YOU! My uncle found a video on youtube of someone doing this very same trick, filled a pan of warm water straight from the tap and threw it up in the air, apparently he threw it straight up and gravity took over. Drenched himself from head to toe which then began to instantly freeze all over him. so be careful.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Pizza Rolls are the key to freedom

Day two of the Blizzard....
I woke at nine this morning, more to the fact that my alarm went off in my ear then actually wanting too. I was supposed to be at work today, and yes Reynolds Ford was opened, however i called Zak to see if i was needed. He answered and explained that if i could get over the ten feet snow drifts and make it through the parking lot without falling into a quicksand of snow, then he would meet me on the other end of the building and allow me to clock in. I thought for a few minutes as i laid my head back down on my pillow and came to a brilliant conclusion. Today is my day off. (which it was but my boss told me to make it there at ten) So i told Zak i wont be making it to work today and curled back up into my nice warm bed. Let him freeze to death in the body shop with nothing to do.
I woke again around eleven thirty with Chris rummaging through some stuff. I had forgotten tomorrow he leaves for his ski trip. I was quite sure, and i know this sounds ironic, that they had been snowed out of it... but no. So the only entertainment i was going to have was now leaving Today to start his long drive to Colorado. Well i see it this way, if hes gone all i have to do is get rid of Rion and i can have the place to myself.
Seeing as rent was due yesterday i decided to actually get my butt out of bed and try to make it the block to seven-eleven to get some money orders. Dragging Chris along we both got into my car and off we went. For clarification Chris held onto the safety handles the entire time while i floored the car and swerved all over the road! Now i hate driving, its boring its annoying and you cant do anything. BUT! when there is ice and snow on the road, my car becomes the only amusement park ride I enjoy, and at the expense of everyone else in the car, I make the most of it! So as i'm smiling away driving Chris is turning catholic and quoting the rosary.
after getting the money i realize i'm hungry, and that due to yesterdays blizzard and no money to begin with, we are out of food in the house. I got a gift card to Wal-mart and decided now was the best time to pick up some food for one day. what did i get? fifty dollars of PIZZA ROLLS! yes pizza rolls will set you free! they are so delicious and tasty and make me so happy :))) <------ this is me smiling from ear to ear (or a smile with two chins.. never actually knew what it meant)
Now for a relaxing day of video games, junk food, and if Rion sleeps all day, time to myself. Which should be very enjoyable.
I do however want to point out for those of you who are beginning to wonder if all im going to do is complain or write every little detail about my day down onto the internet like some over zealous pompous prick who thinks everyone cares what he did fifteen minuets ago while in the bathroom, the answer is NO! I'm just bored and the snow has given me little to write about.
I will however leave you with this mind blowing comment: Warm water freezes quicker than cold water, the reason being is because the molecules in the warm water are bouncing around faster than in the cold water, as the warm water molecules frantically bounce around they expel mass amounts of heat and freeze, while the cold water molecules are moving slower and their for to not lose heat as fast. want to try it out? fill a bucket of boiling water and throw it into the air outside, it turns to snow, throw a bucket of cold water in the air outside, it melts the ice.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The First of he Fall of Comedy

I have committed a crime, I have become that which i despise. No not a hipster.... If i ever became a Hipster, and this is permission for everyone that know me and those who see me just on the streets, Pour molting hot oil on me and set me on fire. Watch me burn in a blaze of glory that i many only achieve as i die! NO HIPSTER! The crime I have admitted to is creating this thing you are reading now. A blog....
And as such is a blog i shall point out that the only reason i have created this in the first place (no not to share my comments to the world. The world couldn't care less of my opinion and I couldn't care even less what the world cares what i think) No the truth of the matter is I have been snowed in, and to create something that resembles entertainment I have dropped to the level of writing my thoughts on the internet for others to mull over and laugh at, or consider, (If you are even a sliver of a human being. aka not a hipster.)
I live in a one bedroom apartment with two other people, My brother, and my childhood friend Chris. We have all been snowed in today, and its most seemingly looking like tomorrow as well. With four game systems, and three computers you would think us completely okay with entertaining ourselves. BUT! the problem doesn't lie with all the systems, it lies with the one T.V. we own and the argument of who gets to play on it. Which in the end creates the problem of Boredom!! Which is the reason for this entry.
So after staring at the wall seeing if by some magical will power i have yet to discover i could make the paint chip. No success so i moved on, after obtaining the T.V. for a short amount of time I gave in and decided i did not care how cold it was outside i would muster through the weather and have myself a smoke! couldnt do it, i froze completely and put it out half way through. Which is probably the cause to my aggression and agitation today about being stuck inside.
My nerves however have been shot to the extreme and even talking to my computer in little letters that form a some what intellegent sentence and therefore combining to create a one sided conversation, i am about to blow my stack and scream! so before i break something im going to bed.