Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Bag of potato chips, and a glass of love.

Hello fellow readers: I'm back, on a new laptop :), and even with a smile. I know I've been down lately, and for those of you who know me i'm sorry. Life isn't something that comes natural to me, and like all of us, i stumble in the dark and fall over myself. The only difference is I don't ask for the help when i need it most, I'm stubborn and thick headed.
Which really brings me to the point of this post. (bare with me a while longer, i will begin posting blogs on my usual dates again, and they will be back to normal come next week.) I want to talk about life. Everyone has had it hard, some worse than others, and for few not hard at all, but you cant measure life by its hardship. To many people argue about who has had a harder life, who lives in the most wealth. "Oh you think you have had it bad? Listen to this!" the conversations usually go. Its not all about pity either, sure some seek such things, more than you would think, but thats not why those stories are told, why people compare. It's how people categorize themselves. How they prove who is stronger, better, weaker, tougher, or just plain messed up.
I will be the first to admit I've had a hard troublesome life, but ill also be the first to admit most of it as my own fault. My stubborness, and ego. Sure childhood traumas and unfair situations did play parts, but it didnt have to be as bad as it turned out to be. I used to judge my wisdom on the hardships i went through, thinking that i could help everyone because i'd been through a lot. only recently have i found the truth to how wrong my thinking was. Life is not about hardships. Its just a factor of life, I let all the problems in my day to day life fester and build. (i'm not one to open up to people, there are very few people who really get to hear anything about me) I thought every problem had to be fixed, mended, and tended to immediately. That it was all my responsibility and no one else's.
This however has gotten me into a lot more problems. I've pushed friends away, and even when i felt like they hated me, really what it was was me trying to find reasons to push them further. all focusing on problems does is cause more of them.
Problems come and go, its a fact of life, arguments, situations, money problems, even stupid mistakes that could have been avoided. But the fact remains life has much more meaning, the joys of friends and family, and those you love. Life is love, created because of it and prolonged by it. I've taken little thought in this matter for the past month, which has lead to empty nights, lost friends, and more (yup) problems.
So you have no family? make your friends your family as i have. (even though i havent shown it recently) Have no girlfriend or boyfriend? That can wait for the right moment, you cant rush true love, nor a happy relationship. In the mean time dont sulk and get down about it, take your friends close in your arms and smile, your worth it. As a good friend keeps telling me: your friends are your family, they are their for you.
in the end a happy life comes down to one thing, Who you surround yourself with. For me? Friends and those I love, and who knows maybe one day I'll get married to a beautiful woman, have a family of my own and raise kids as dysfunctional as me. But in the mean time, all you reading this, I love you. (and if your reading this. I love you too)

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